Choosing the Best School for your Child

(Updated as of 2018 April 03)

Reflections on my personal journey is selecting a school for my son.

Let me give you a background and context on my journey in selecting a school for my son.

My son was initially diagnosed with Learning Disorder (Dyslexia) with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) combined presentation with Communication Disorder, Mixed Expressive Semantic-progmantic type when he was 4 years old (2012).

I was advised by the elders and some colleagues to enrol my son in a regular school and just hire a tutor. Hence, I enrolled him in a regular school and even sign him up in KUMON (Reading). As the school year passed by I noticed that the grades of my son were deteriorating. His classroom teacher informed me that there were some episodes wherein my son will stand and walk around the classroom. During exam, he was the last one to finish. He also did not socialise with other students.

We tried again with another school and decided to enrol him in a school that boast of educational excellence. I also got him a tutor and at the same time brought him to a reading therapy session every Saturday to address his dyslexia. I had the impression that if he could read, then we will be okay. After another year, the principal recommended for me to look for a special school that could address his needs. This was a challenging time for me that I talked to my superior about resigning so I could focus on my son.

Due to distance and accessibility, I looked for another Developmental Pedia that was near to where I worked, for another consultation. This time a new medical diagnosis was given - Autism Spectrum Disorder with co-existing ADHD combined type. The doctor told me that she had to give a new diagnosis based on the results of the test and symptoms that my child was showing so that the right therapy can be given. At the time, the new diagnosis was overwhelming but at the end of the day, I realised that only a spot-on diagnosis will lead to a more relevant and appropriate prescription. The new diagnosis came also with a new opportunity - I found a flyer of a certain school that offers special education that was very near to where I work. This time, with strong resolve, we made the decision to enrol him in SPED and have him undergo full therapy session as recommended by the doctor— 2x a week of Reading Therapy, 1x a week of Occupational Therapy and 1x a week of Speech Therapy. Although this was an expensive investment and endeavour, it was a worth it. Anything for a better future for my child . All of this happened in 2015.

Moving to 2018. After almost 3 years, my son has improved a lot. Every milestones that he achieved were both a blessing and a step towards reaching his highest potential such as:

• He can communicate better than before when expressing his thoughts

• His comprehension improved as he can already get the gist of the story that he watched or we read

• He tells me "I love you mommy" without prompting or "I will give you a hug so you will feel better"

• He now has a best friend

• He chooses his own clothes and has preferences already on what he likes

• He has preferences on the type of music that he listens to

• He bakes (with assistance) but initiates the deed or reminds me that we do not have spare ingredients when we go to the grocery.

• He can fix his own room (although still needs prompting but will get there)

• He is slowly moving into mainstream classes as he has 4 subjects (Civics, ICT, Filipino and P.E.) in a non-SPED class.

We are still facing challenges as he still has difficulty reading or spelling words that have more than 4 letters or ends in y or e. He sometimes transpose or inverse letters when reading or writing. He has some idiosyncrasies specially on food, how he does not like his things to be moved or borrowed without his knowledge or his bias to babies or being kissed or hugged by others. He also had tantrums whenever something happened that was not as he planned or liked. I know despite all of this, I am still very grateful that he is progressing and he is starting to discover and define himself as an individual.

After deep reflection and going through 3 years of changing schools I’ve learned that when selecting the best school for your child the best tool or indicator can be summed up in two ways —

First, HAVING a deep knowledge and understanding of your child’s need.

Discovering what is essential, specially on the stage where your child still cannot decide for themselves. It is not what “I want” as a parent but what my child needs at the time. With this comes the greatest skill that a parent should possess - LISTENING. It is listening with not just your ears but with your eyes, heart, mind and soul. Borrowing the word of Stephen Covey “We listen with the intent to understand”. It is listening for cues or hints on the words that are being said and not being said. Understanding what he or she is coming from. It is a mixture of attentive and emphatic listening. Because when we listen with the intent to understand then we can be able to establish connection. A connection that will guide us on what our child needs. A connection that will help us be in sync with what matters most.

SECOND, choose a school that is not just a centre of excellence but knowing that the school advocates INCLUSIVE EDUCATION.

Based on the article written by Dr. Lilia Dale Mcmanis (2017), "inclusive education is when all students, regardless of any challenges they may have, are placed in age-appropriate general education classes that are in their own neighbourhood schools to receive high quality instruction, interventions, and supports that enable them to meet success in the core curriculum (Bui, Quirk, Almazan, & Valenti, 2010; Alquraini & Gut, 2012)."

As per my understanding this is a school where there is no great divide and labels for students. An inclusive practice that does not discriminate on how a person learns. A school where the administrator and faculty fully understand their function - CREATE A LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR STUDENTS TO FIND AND UNLEASH THEIR INNER POTENTIAL. At this stage, it will be hard to find a school that offers this type of environment. Am not sure if we have one in the Philippines. But I sure would love to know one. But as a parent, we could try to find a school that is seemingly leaning towards inclusive education.

For me, excellence is more than just scores or a final mark that tells you you're the best. Excellence in education is when a student was able to find his purpose and discover his potential. It is a continuing quest to defining yourself and become better for the world.

It's not just the school that should educate our children. Our role as parent plays a critical factor. How we listened and supported our children will lead to the best education we can give them. The school is our partner so choose wisely.

References:

Dr. Mcmanis, LD (2017). Inclusive Education: What It Means, Proven Strategies, and a Case Study. A Blog by Concordia University Portland. Retrieved from https://education.cu-portland.edu/blog/classroom-resources/inclusive-education/

Covey, S (1989). 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. ISBN 0-7432-6951-9