My Father Said, "Take Charge"

When my father was still alive, he would always tell me to “take charge.” Before he passed away, on his death bed, I whispered to him “You can let go, I will take charge.”  If there is one legacy that is so powerful and impactful that my father left me, it is the phrase “take charge.” Now, I tell my son to “take charge.” At first it was an unconscious practice. As time passes by, I realized that I was doing it because I wanted my son to take hold of his own destiny. It is more than saying take control of the house… or take care of yourself. It is me telling him to choose wisely. To create your own path. To be responsible for your decision because everything you do will lead to either positive or negative consequences.

The Paradox of Control

Take charge means --

“Take responsibility for something & have control over it.” – Cambrigde.com

“Assume control, take hold and seize control.” – Vocabulary.com

In leadership parlance, control has always been part of the discussion. It is something that a leader should have – having control and at the same time, should not have too much of. That is the paradox of control, the more we try to use it, the more we lose control. Therefore, is control an impossible dream and aspiration that is unachievable? Or is control a tangible thing so we could feel safe and secured? Because that is what usually comes to mind, if we have control then we can have order, therefore will be safer and more secured.

Having taken 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, I am aware that “control” is something you cannot control. In Habit 1, Be Proactive, we were taught the concept of “circle of concern” and “circle of influence”. Putting your attention and energy to those that are in the circle of concern, i.e., inflation, flood, weather, corruption, bad traffic, bad boss, etc., will take you to a soaring height of uncontrollable stress and disappointments. Because in real life, there are a lot of things that you cannot control. Moreso, controlling someone’s life.

Every human being is unique. This means, each one carries their own perspective, character, and personality. Controlling someone would also mean going against the very design of free will. Does that mean, human beings are uncontrollable, therefore, let us not waste time on them. The thing is, we live in a world where human interaction is critical if we want anything done. Relationships are crucial to building something tangible and promoting growth.

Businesses, organization, society, and family units comprises human beings. We always say that people are the greatest asset of any organization. Without people, there is no business or profit to begin with. It is the people who will conduct the services… its people who will deliver the results. So, how can we bring control that leads to results?

That is where probably AI and robotics comes in. Tech giants and great minds with superpowers on mathematical computation created a system where control is manageable. Everything should fit the algorithm. Error of mistakes can be computed and predicted based on various data analysis. I am not against AI or robotics, per se. It is one of the greatest innovation humanity has created. Keeping that in mind, since it is man made, control on any AI generated technology can also be manipulated or use to manipulate. Come to think of it, we have created such innovation in technology, probably because we wanted control. A prominent level of control that can produce results efficiently. Robots/AI can work for 24 hours and process voluminous data simultaneously that is faster, with lesser error of margin. It follows a command. A code that has been designed on the system. On the other hand, humans have free will. The option to choose. Humans have tendencies to be overwhelmed, over think, forget and get tired. Now I wonder, what will be the answer if an executive of a company is asked a question -- would you rather have a robot or humans for your team? Moreso, would you rather have a robot or a human on the management team?

Let us not overlook how technology, such as IoT, social media, mobile games, and the constant upgrading of smartphones, has, in a way, controlled how people think and behave. Apple and Microsoft, two tech titans, are utilizing AI as an add-on to their technologies as I write down this article. Let's be honest: innovations I just mentioned have controlled a wide range of areas in a person’s life, including buying patterns, fashion, lifestyle, dating, relationships, parenting, and communication among others. Though we celebrate and enjoy the accessibility and convenience that such technologies provide in our lives, somehow, as humanity, we have lost our self-concept, self-efficacy, and deeper connection with the self. These same technologies have been used to create misinformation, manipulation, harassment, greed, theft, etc. Even happiness has been controlled by the number of likes. Social standing and self-concept have been dictated by influencers. The concept of freedom of expression in social media has been used to defame, harass, and violate one’s dignity.

Again, this is the paradox of control. The more we want it, the more we lose it.

Taking Charge

So, what does it really mean to take charge since it means take control or assume control?

I will not try to answer the reason of existence for humankind. But what I will share is a perspective that I learned along the way from what my father used to tell me and now passed on to my son to “take charge.”

I remembered, Caloy, our mentor as 7 Habits facilitator, when he said that the only thing we can control is ourselves. Amongst all the things on our circle of concern, it is best to focus on ourselves. We direct our attention and our energies to what we can influence on. This would mean, making an inventory of our own strengths and weaknesses. Reflecting on our capabilities and networks. What we are good at and how we can improve. Once we have harnessed our strengths and capabilities, and addressed our weaknesses, then we can be able to lead a life of peace, joy, purpose, and self-fulfilment.

Therefore, taking charge, for me, is controlling yourself. Taking charge of your personal and professional development (in all domains – mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually); of increasing your circle of influence; and, of being the best version of yourself. This also means, creating your destiny – being responsible for the life choices you made. Choosing who you are and what you stand for. It is also determining what you value the most and the principles that guides your every decision in life. For me, that is what taking charge means. The defining of the self -- a nonstop exploration and harnessing of your capabilities to lead a life of purpose.

So even with the rise of AI, robots, and social media technologies, I will choose who I am, what I can contribute and what I can offer to the world. It is taking charge of my future with the help of technology and not the other way around. Because at the end of the day, I believe that discernment, conscience, independent will and self-awareness are human traits which even with the greatest mind in technology on earth can re-create as an algorithm or a code.

To end this article, I would like to share a song by India Arie which inspires me on how I define myself and I take charge of my own narrative – “I am light.”